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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

An Additional (Unwanted) Passenger

Ah yes, yet another traveler on this little journey of mine.  This one is not quite as exciting as learning Trent is coming.  No, not as exciting as learning I was selected to go on the trip.  Come to think of it, this one is not exciting at all.  I've recently learned (after extensive, uncomfortable, and at times down-right weird testing- see below) I have a tumor in my pancreas.  Yes folks, the latest passenger is Tommy Tumor...  I have zero idea how this name came about, just go with it.

The pancreas is apparently a very vital organ, who knew?  During the first stages of testing when we discovered my pancreas was inflamed, I actually asked a nurse, "Is the pancreas an organ we need?"  The answer is a definitive YES.  Huh.  Tom has successfully shut down my pancreas which requires me to take enzymes before I eat... each and every time.  Fun!  (not)  Tom also lacks the quite, demur temperament I'm so known for (I kid!) so pain meds attempt to keep him subdued.  AND in true terrible tenant fashion, Tom has invited some friends along for the ride.  There is evidence of some "nodules" in my liver.  If these are just friends of Tom or his relatives remains to be seen.  The biopsy I'm having done next week will give us the answers we seek.  I also get the privilege of having 6,000 blood tests, all of which require a new needle poke each time, and a 24-hour urine collection.  Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like.  I'm going to pee into what looks like a mini-gas can for 24 hours.  This is following the poo I had in my freezer for a week.  Funny story:  I was to collect a stool sample and place in the freezer to take to the lab within 24 hours... well true to my blonde nature, I forgot it for approximately a week.  Don't worry, if you come over I won't serve you anything that shared the freezer during that long week in April....

It turns out I have the same tumor as Steve Jobs so at least I'm in good company.  I have yet to develop electronic products that change the world as we know it or make billions of dollars but the night is still young.  With all due respect to Mr. Jobs, I AM going to take credit for being smarter than him in just one category.  While he elected to treat our little friends by natural means, I am electing to have the little nuisance cut right out!  That's right Tommy T., your days are numbered.  How numbered, well that remains to be seen... 

In a grand display of generosity, I'm allowing T.T. to come to Turkey (that's a lot of T's) with me before ending his stay in my body.  I know, I know, I'm too kind.  If I were to have my surgery before the trip, I probably wouldn't be able to take said trip.  So, it's a no-brainer.  TT and LD are off to T and we are going to L it up!

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